Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
