I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
