loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
