I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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