That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
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