they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
