Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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