I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize
