Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I think your dad took our porno
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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