So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
