I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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