So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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