Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
