that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
