pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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