I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
