Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Randomize
