Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
