Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
