What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Randomize
