Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
