Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
