i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
