but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
