; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Randomize
