Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
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