I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
how do flat chested girls get laid?
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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