I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
