In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
