So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
