I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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