can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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