I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
