If i could tip my vagina, i would.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
