wanna go halves on a baby?
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
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