so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
