We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Randomize
