I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
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