textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
