mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
