problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Randomize
