My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
