My hair reeks of homosexuality.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Randomize
