I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
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