And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
