Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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