You're my little dorito
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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