The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Randomize
