Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Randomize
