Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Randomize
