Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
