Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
